Why can't banks be logical?

So on Sunday afternoon someone broke into my car while the family and I were hiking. Luckily there was no damage to the car as they forced the window down rather than breaking it. We didn't really have anything of value in the car, so all the guy got was less than $10 in bills and change and my MOMS Club deposit slip book. Well, I filed a police report that will not be investigated and put a freeze on my chapter's bank account.

Yesterday morning I went into the bank with my list of outstanding checks so the bank could take care of my compromised account. I walked into the lady's cubicle with the kids in tow. Kids had their leapsters with them and were actually very well behaved through the HOUR I sat there. I told the lady my situation and she said she recommended closing my current account and reopening the account. I said "Sounds good, let's do it." Even though we've had an account for 2 years with this bank and they have copies of all of the pertinent paperwork, she asked for it all again. As I look back on it all, I realize that my mistake was handing her the piece of paper telling her who our newly elected officers were. That was a different matter to be handled at another time and I should have kept that to myself, but I thought I'd give her all the info I had rather than withholding. The second she sees a name on that paper with the title Secretary next to it then all of a sudden everything changed and the Secretary became the all powerful holder of decision making and I couldn't do anything without her in the room. The lady then told me that in order to open a new account I had to have a signed copy of our meeting minutes stating who the new officers were and that we voted to open a new account. The conversation went something like this.

Lady (and I'm using the term Lady loosely as she was as much unlike a lady as I've ever seen):"You have to bring in the signed minutes before we can open a new account"
Me: "I really don't want a new account. I want my same account exactly like it is but with an uncompromised number."
Lady: "We can't do that. We have to open a new account. And we have to have minutes stating that the chapter voted to open a new account."
Me: "But the bank book was stolen yesterday. Our business meeting was last week and our next one isn't until August."
Lady: "I can't open an account without the secretary's signed minutes. You may be opening a separate account to siphon money out for yourself."
Me: "So you'll let me take all of the money out of the account and walk out of here with it. but you just won't let me put it back into a new account."
Lady: "Not without the secretary here with signed minutes."

It went in circles like this for quite a while until finally I asked her to innumerate exactly what and who I needed to bring in to open a new account at which point she said "I've already told you that. You already know what you need." "No Ma'am, I do not. Please tell me again. " "I've already told you!" At which point she gets up and storms out of the room. She was gone for like 5 minutes and I was beginning to think she wasn't coming back when she came into the room with their manager. I explained everything to him again about how I just wanted the same account with no changes, no changes to signers or anything other than an uncompromised account number. He started telling me the same thing about having signed minutes. I told him the meeting was held last week and the next one wouldn't be until August. At that point he said "Can't you just alter the last minutes to include the vote to open a new account?" I looked at him with my mouth hanging open for a while then said "That would be lieing since we didn't vote on that at that meeting. You want me to lie and alter official minutes but you won't forget that we just elected a new secretary and let me act as one to open a new account?" "We have to have the secretary here so we can compare her signature." "You don't have her signature on file. She was just elected. I'm the only signature you have on file. " "Well we'll have her signature when she gives us the signed minutes. "

At that point I said, "What if we leave enough money in the account to cover outstanding checks and you give me the rest of it and I take it to another bank?" "You could do that." "Then that's what I want to do. "

So they would let me take all of my chapter's money out of the bank but wouldn't let me put it back in to re-open the account. Does that make any sense at all?

I went down the street to another bank and opened a new account without incident.